Digging through archives can be pretty damn hilarious.
This here is what happens when two young intellectuals that love to talk smack get familiar with Gmail Chat and catchup by way of an impromptu interview that quickly goes nowhere and never sees the cyber-light of day …until now.
Heavy on the sarcasm and cussing, easily lacking substance.
December 1st, 2009
The Winner One was just voted Lady of the Moment in a poll taken by two other people at the S15 bus stop on Queen ..Street Auckland! Photo taking, dope-money talking artist/moneymaker currently living in Barcelona - or just outside of it in a town you’re not cool enough to know about, the puppetmaster behind the blog that is Homeslice answers important questions about The Recession, Spanish Police and Foreign Relations - shooting the shit styley…
The One Flippin It: I like to think rules are for fools, however I recently made a date loaf successfully - the first time I tried it bummed out coz I freestyled the recipe - What are your thoughts on following instructions/doing what you’re told?
The Winner One: Word to the wise from one fool to another, follow the recipe G. All the cool kids drink school and go to milk. Follow them. Follow follow follow, until you find yourself leading.. the more I say follow the more it doesn’t make sense, yeah? Yeah..
The One Flippin It: Word. Talking about the recession is all the fucking rage lately - care to dickride that subject a little? Do you have any recession tips? eg. Number One, I live at my mama house!
The Winner One: See now that’s just smart, ODB - he knows! Go on the dole and milk the government? It’s their fault anyway right?.. 21:58 that, and then jump on the brokeass bandwagon and go shopping for all the shit you know you can’t afford, now THAT is the fucken rage. 22:02 or move to Barcelona and grow weed. Recession what? The reefah industry will never be affected by any kind of recession, you can count on that..
The One Flippin It: Hey, whoever said we weren’t for the kids is gonna be sorry. That’s some good advice right there. You’re so for the kids you are The Big Baby Jesus right now…. Speaking about for the kids, your photos of Barcelona are pretty well dope - got any funny stories of while you were out taking them? 22:05 Coz Barcelona is famed for having skank old guys soliciting chicks for sex am I wrong? When I was there, B and Sesilia got asked by two old guys for sex in exchange for some sweet Euros (eew) - any such luck while out snapping away?
The Winner One: Oh shit. I should keep off of La Rambla then cos those damn chicas be taking all those skank old guys you love so much. Nothing I can think of - although a couple Sundays ago my hopes of a swift return home were shattered when I was out taking shots with my mate Lor Alternateev from Montpellier. We found some dope graffiti around Alfons X area and one particular wall behind the local police station. After walking away from what we considered to be a successful photo session, we hear ‘perdone, perdone, para!’ from two policia niños that look as if they just finished high school last week. As two females from Aotearoa and France we obviously looked like ETA recruits whose initiation mish was to snap them drinking coffees, smoking cigs, scratching their asses and nonchalantly watching two old ladies get their purses snatched by Moroccan handymen (cos here the pickpockets are always Moroccan…). For a brief moment I was elated at the chance of being deported home (you know, free ticket and all). But alas, once they found out we were extranjeros (foreigners) they patted each others’ ass on a job well done and went their way.
The One Flippin It: That’s fuckin funny G! The camera I’m using is at the moment is a Disco Banana Yellow Disposable - like the colour of Dei Hamos’ rented Hummer - for a collection of photos called ‘Disposable’ its kind of embarrassing now since even homeless peeps laugh when I pull it out. What kind of camera are you using?
The Winner One: I’m using a shitty ass digital point and shoot camera that I don’t EVEN want to go into detail about! I’m itching to get me an old Russian! Kiev 4A 35mm Rangefinder which is all over Ebay for sweet fuck all, a mere 14 euros and yet it’s still out of my reach. What with my credit card being cancelled, no access to my funds back home and no way of opening a bank account here - I am forced to kick it old school and literally have my Euro cents in a jar! In many ways I love it. But if anyone wants to help a sister out, get at the lovely interviewer for my details…
The One Flippin It: Send me your full name coz you just got yourself a fuckin russian whatever camera! I’ll Western Union you those sweet euros in time for Christmas - don’t say shit. Not a fuckin word. Just the name on your passport in my inbox.
The One Flippin It: Okay, last question. Being in countries where the national language is not English, do you exploit the opportunity to drop dirty hip hop lyrics into conversation with people because you can?
The Winner One: Stink answer is that as much as I would love to, I don’t. I can’t even cleverly drop lines from movies like the smart kids can. Short ass one liners I try, like if I see one of your skank old guys trying to get lucky with some unsuspecting chica I’m all ‘that guys being awfully forward with that donkey’ …zing! (stink, but not really since we both love Clerks 2). 22:55 but for real you should school me on dirt dog lyrics that I can drop. 22:56 gimme one now.
The One Flippin It: “You can’t control the black mans GOD!”- ODB